Yo dont text me then not text me
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
