White coat. Heels.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
