Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
