I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
