so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
