Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
