Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize
