if i can run in heels then i can drive
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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