dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
