Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
