How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
