You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
