You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize