I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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