Please, let me fuck your mom
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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