I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
