I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize