Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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