So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
