im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Randomize
