I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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