i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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