Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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