Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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