Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
