My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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