and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Me too!
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
