Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
