So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
