Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
