well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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