OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
