I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
