I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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