I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
