All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
