Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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