Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
