i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
