He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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