a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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