I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
