ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
