I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
someone threw a dead crab at me
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
