trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I can't turn off my feet"
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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