I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
