Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Of course I have a pirate flag
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
