i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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