He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
COCAINE IS GR8
what the fuck happened to the tacos
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
