let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
