I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
