Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
