i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize