"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
