and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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