NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
