They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
