TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Your penis caused this!
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
