I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
