i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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