you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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