i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
