I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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