On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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