I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
