What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
