try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Boobs speak an international language.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
