he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
